Yes, let’s let go of fear and live up to our desires. But before I drop the curtain, we first need to dive into another question. This question is: Who am I?
So let’s give it a spin. Who am I?
“I am Jeroen Beekman”
Ok, Jeroen Beekman. That is my name. But I don’t feel like they cover the full extent of who I am.
“Ok, you are right. Jeroen Beekman is my name. But who I really am is the son of my parents, a reliable friend, a writer and a programmer.”
Aha. So what about when I lose my friends or betray their trust, would I stop being?
“Hmm, let me try again. I am 1.82m and I weigh 80kg. I have long hair and brown eyes. I have four limbs.”
Again this sounds problematic. Do I lose my identity when I go on a diet? When I wear coloured lenses or go to a barber shop?
Maybe we should rephrase the question. Who sees when I see, who hears when I hear, and who dreams when I dream?
“I do! It’s me. Me, me, me!”
Aha, that sounds about right! And so we arrive at the only answer we can give to the question. “I am me!”. It does not get any more refined than that. I am the consciousness that experiences my life.
The Indian Hindu sage Ramana Maharshi stated that “The question, ‘who am I?’ is not really meant to get an answer, the question ‘who am I?’ is meant to dissolve the questioner.” It is to realize that in fact, we are none of the many things we tend to identify with.
And this dissolving of our identity does not only dissolve our sense of identification with what is outside of us. It also dissolves any limitations on who we can become!
When we accept that our identity boils down to, well, nothing more than our conscious experience of being. Then we accept that we have complete and utter freedom in how we show up to the world around us.
And with this comes responsibility.
We are not limited by our past. We can be as big as we want to be. There is an infinite greatness inside all of us that is just waiting to be woken up. It’s all just a matter of choosing to accept the full responsibility for anything that happens in your life. Accepting this responsibility 100%. There is nothing holding you back.
Don’t worry, this does not mean you have to do everything on your own either. You will find you also have the responsibility for asking other people for help. And in doing so, you have to accept that you are worthy of receiving help. (Oof. That’s a big one!)
And accepting this responsibility is inherently scary. The true fear that we all carry with us is the fear of realizing our own greatness. To go beyond our wildest dreams and say to yourself: “You know what? I am worthy of anything I desire. And I am worthy of asking others to help get me there”. And that is fucking scary. As Marianne Williamson said in her book A Return to Love: “Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure“.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness That most frightens us. "We ask ourselves Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. "You playing small does not serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking So that other people won’t feel insecure around you. "We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest The glory of God that is within us. "It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”